


First dream without nightmares

by StilesHale91



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: BBC Sherlock - Freeform, Community: sherlockbbc, First Kiss, I Believe in Sherlock Holmes, John Watson's Blog, London, Love Confessions, M/M, Male Friendship, Male Slash, Post Reichenbach, Return, Season/Series 03, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-04
Updated: 2012-12-04
Packaged: 2017-11-20 07:00:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/582589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StilesHale91/pseuds/StilesHale91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>► 3 years have passed since that day, when John witnessed Sherlock's jump off St. Bartholomew's Hospital. It's time to move on, and it's time for Sherlock to return back to 221 B.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First dream without nightmares

It was a quiet and dark Saturday morning on the streets of London, the fog started to cover the city while the wind began to blow harder, unlikely as it was at dawn. It was rather a melancholic day, and for the man who was walking up from the tube it wasn't depressive just because of the weather. Most of his days were full of sad thoughts and memories. There were exceptions of course but especially when he laid his head down to sleep, the sorrow always flooded his mind. As he reached the street where his way leaded, he looked up, it was visible that the look on his face became even more painful. He softly touched the numbers on the familiar door '221 B'. Three years passed and he didn't feel himself strong enough to come back to this place, but today when he woke up, he made his mind up and thought this will be the day. John took out the key from his pocket, and pushed it into the keyhole with his trembling hand, then entered. As John was stepping upstairs as an echo in his head, he was hearing Sherlock's voice, when he walked into their room, all the memories about Sherlock came back all together. He broke down completely, everything in the room looked just like 3 years ago. John took his steps to Sherlock's bedroom, and then he just laid down on the bed and all the ache all the pain what he tried to hide away from everyone just broke out, he was moaning and screaming against the pillow as he burst into tears. Then from a sudden he heard a familiar, low voice as the door opened.

" John...."

John stopped crying for a second as he quickly turned to the door, then he shook his head and was crawling to the corner of the room. Without stopping he kept rubbing his eyes, but he still saw the man front of the door. 

"I must have gone mad....I'm...just hallucinating...You can't be here...I saw...I saw you...die...Shh..Sherlock..." 

Then the man started to walk up towards him. He sat down at the edge of the bed. He didn't change at all, he was in his long black coat with turned up collar and a blue scarf covered his neck. His eyes were running on John all over and he didn't really found the words what to say to the shocked man on his bed. 

" John...it's me. You're not hallucinating." 

Firstly John leaned closer and hugged Sherlock tightly, more tears were running down on his cheek, but then he backed off and punched Sherlock, before he got up from the bed and looked down at him accusingly.

"How dare you....How could you do this to me?? You have no idea what I've been through. 3 YEARS...3 YEARS SHERLOCK!!! I had nightmares every night, I've seen your body in blood over and over again in my dreams! My life turned into hell for me!! I've been hallucinating your voice, your face. You can't even imagine...how could..."

John backed off and leaned against the wall where he burst out into crying. Sherlock stood up from the bed and felt bad about how John reacted, his feelings hurt him as well.

"John. I've done everything for you. I had to do it. I was protecting you. If I wouldn't jump off and if you wouldn't have thought I'm dead then your life would have been in danger. It has been a nightmare for me too, to be away from you for 3 years. But I've always kept an eye on you. And I asked Mycroft to take care of you and be sure that noone will hurt you..."  
"Oh that's great so even Mycroft knew all about your little plan! But you didn't tell ME! I thought I was your friend...and you Sherlock...it was a nightmare for you?! I was the one who has lived 3 years with the belief that his friend is dead. But perhaps I was a fool that I ever kept believing that everyone was wrong and you're a great man and friend too, but I made a mistake..."  
"John if I'd have told you my plan, the whole faking of my suicide would have been useless, because I'd had to risk your life, and then both of us would have been dead. You always trusted me John, I thought this time you'll too. It was so hard, to lie to you, but it was for your own sake. I just couldn't bore if something would have happen to you...John..."  
" I trusted you I always trusted you. But you could at least told your plan to me..."  
" No, that wouldn't have worked. You couldn't pretend for years like I was dead, and you couldn't lie..."  
" I was so alone Sherlock after I came back from the war and then I met you, and you were a true friend to me, and your death shocked me so badly, that I was a complete mess. And you're telling me I couldn't lie, oh I see so I wasn't enough responsible and you did't trust me either....I just don't know what else to say to you. I know now everything what I had to. "

John looked away and left the house in a rush. Meanwhile outside it has already started raining heavily. John wanted a cab quickly but the street was rather empty, then someone grabbed his shoulder and Sherlock with his tearful eyes looked deeply into his eyes.

" John..You're the only thing what matters to me... and I couldn't loose you. Can't you see what you mean to me?" 

Sherlock never was sentimental, but now the tears covered whole his face. John looked a little confused at him but his heart melted a little as he noticed Sherlock's tears. He didn't say anything just looked back. Sherlock leaned in and gently kissed John on the lips as the raindrops covered both of them. John let him to reach his lips but then he backed off and looked at Sherlock surprised and kind of shocked. Sherlock looked down at him and started talking on a smooth voice.   
  
" I love you John. I always was about to tell you, but I was afraid...you know me I never was good at sentiments and emotions...but I guess I was right not to tell you, you don't feel the same way about me. I'm sorry about the kiss, just forge..."  
\- "Shut up..."

John grabbed Sherlock's collar and pulled him down close to him and he kissed him back too, then they cuddled tightly. Sherlock was stroking John's back as he was still crying because of the shock, that his friend is really alive and because of Sherlock's confession. After a while Sherlock caressed John's cheek then took his hand and they went inside their home. From that moment John didn't start to continue accusing nor questioning Sherlock. It was the most beautiful day in his life, he got back the man, who mattered the most to him. This day wasn't about to discuss the past, the present or the future. Sherlock and John finally were together again. They were sitting most of the day on the couch snuggled up. Sherlock kept his long arms tightly around John. For a while John leaned his head on the side and was looking at Sherlock's soft lips, shining eyes, his cheekbones, he never really knew or never admitted to himself, but it was Sherlock all the time. John gave a kiss to Sherlock then he laid his head down on his chest and slowly fell asleep in his protecting arms. After 3 years this was John's first dream without nightmares. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> ☆ This is my first work, so please be nice ♥.


End file.
